What Do You Bring to the Picture?

Too many people are intent and content with blaming others for what they do not have. When you can get something yourself, get it. Do not expect others to give you things, when you yourself have nothing to offer. A relationship is the same way, what do you bring to the picture?

--PrettyChiq



Sometimes people want things they have no right wanting. Wanting and needing are two different things. You may want to something and need something completely different. With this in mind, do note the same applies to a relationship. People need to know the difference. If you have no space or place in your life for a relationship, chances are you do not need it. If you do, it will be!





As we all get older, we feel the pressure to be or have a relationship. A pressure to be like those around us, forgetting we are not those people. Why are you feeling so compelled to be like someone else? Are the pressures of society so great that one cannot be happy in oneself? Coming from a culture that's highly influenced by social media, I know the pressures of needing and wanting to be in a relationship. Everywhere I turn, someone is updating a relationship status or posting a picture of their marriage.It is this pressure that have caused me, and many other persons I know to find themselves in many problematic relationships.

For this reason, the influence of others, I have decided to focus this relationship post on: what you do bring to the table? What do you have to offer? Why would anyone want to spend so much time with you?

Too many people are caught up on what others think and want, that they do not know what they want by themselves. I have often heard many people say, 'I want a good man or a good woman.' When asked, what is a good man or woman, they do not know what that entails. Secondly, when asked, 'what do you bring to the table, or have to offer?' They do not know.

My biggest question is: Why complain what people what people do not have when you do not have the same things? How can one complain about not having a good man, and one is not a good woman?

I am going to say this: stop beating people down for things you want when you can get them yourself. Too many women I know are seeking this happiness or satisfaction from someone else. If you cannot find something yourself, no one else will be able to find it--you should be the first person to know yourself and what you want.

So here is the solution to your problem:

• Ask your friends to list 4 top qualities or things they admire about you
• Ask them to list the 4 top things that you need to get rid of
• List 4 things you like about yourself and 4 that you know you have to improve upon
• And answer this question: what do you bring to any relationship? Write for 5 minutes and limit yourself, don't change any answer and if you're stumbled do note that's an answer also.



We cannot expect the world from others and we bring nothing to the world. A relationship is not about completing someone or yourself, it's about complementing each other in a positive way. I once heard a friend of mine say, "Oh I don't cook, clean or do anything, he knows this." So I asked in a brazen but honest manner, 'so what do you do?' She smiled and stuck her tongue out. I immediately assumed and understood she was referring to sex, and I respect. But I will address it.

LADIES SEX IS NOT ALL A RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT AND SURELY NOT ALL MEN WANT FROM A COMPANION--A SIDE CHICK YES, BUT NOT SOMEONE TO GROW WITH!

Too many women feels as though they deserve to be treated like a queen or be romanced. They do nothing but bring sex to the picture and occasional arguments, and gets upset when their significant other does not do what their significant others use to. My advice for such a woman is--get over it. If you want romance, take matters into your own hands and bring it to your relationship. Many women do not realize that sometimes it's alright to treat their boyfriends, husbands or 'friends' as they would want to be treated. Honestly, you'll get what you want and secure your relationship in the process. Sitting there wishing and wanting something when you can get it yourself is completely stupid and unheard of--get it! Stop feeling as though a man is obligated to treat you like something or someone you have not earned. If you are not his wife, does not need to treat you like her. If you are not his mother, then he does not have to clock in with you. If you are his significant other, make a significant impact on his life and treat him as such.



Don't be a hypocrite actions goes two ways, so be certain of who you are--then find out what you bring to other people's lives. After this, you can make your demands and work towards a healthy relationship. If you bring nothing, you'll get nothing.  After finding out your worth, it is easy to flourish in a healthy and successful relationship.


Recapping the Previous Post:
Writing down those things should have created a relationship profile for you. You should be a step closer to knowing what you want. Once you know what you want for and from yourself, then being in a relationship becomes effortless.

• Relationships that we have seen or are seeing do impact our very own relationships--if all you have seen is bad, then there are chances that you do not know or have the ingredients to develop a good one. That's fine, but realize this, seek help and knowingly try to make a change. Telling your significant other this and having a genuine conversation is healthy--it opens the decisions for comparison and understanding why and how you both do things...making it easier for you to express yourself
• You may want something completely different from what you have seen. That's okay, but do note--all relationships requires work. Be ready and prepared to work at what you want and need--nothing good comes easy!
• You have to know yourself before you can know someone else. Appreciate yourself before you can appreciate someone else.
• God is first, self is second and others come after that!

Stop trying to complete yourself through others, complete yourself by yourself and in yourself. There is nothing wrong with being alone. There is also nothing wrong with wanting or needing a relationship--that's fine. Do not however, beat or abuse innocent people for something you cannot solve yourself--your feelings of being incomplete or feeling unfulfilled. Finding and loving oneself first is the key to any successful relationship. When you open to yourself, you make it easier for others to open to you and cherish the person that you truly is!

Remember, life's too beautiful to not live in it's entirety, live it!

Photo of the Day

It is as simple as this!!!



--PrettyChiq